Fate
by laolurve
Summary: Written in response to a challenge issued at another site. The challenge was: "Alex Is a Phone Sex Operator and Olivia Calls In". A/O


**Title:** Fate

**Rated:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Alex/Olivia (dur)

**Notes:** Written in response to a challenge issued at another site. The challenge was: "Alex Is a Phone Sex Operator and Olivia Calls In". This isn't *exactly* as the challenge dictates but it's the general idea. Also, it's a little bit on the angsty side.

* * * * * * * * *

"Good evening, and just what may I be for you tonight?"

Olivia was suddenly struck momentarily speechless. And she wasn't sure why. This was the third time she'd gotten a similar answer as she cold called the various numbers on the prepaid cell they'd found on their victim so it's not like this was entirely unexpected. But this voice... well, it was somehow unexpected, for it was somehow familiar. And the detective's body seemed to be reacting to it (her heart beat a little strong and she was embarrassed to admit that wasn't the only physical response) but her mind couldn't figure out why, try as it may.

But her mind wasn't given much time to try to figure it out before it was interrupted by that very voice again, "Hello?" Yes, that purring, sexy voice, "You don't need to be shy," the voice coaxed.

Olivia cleared her throat in an attempt to regain her composure. "Uh...hello. Who am I speaking to?"

"Who do you want me to be?" the voice purred back.

One name immediately popped into Olivia's mind, a name and a person she thought of often but to have it pop into her head right now still surprised and disconcerted and threw her a little. Fortunately, she managed to fight it down and managed to focus on the reason for her call, "This is Detective Olivia Benson of the New York Police Department, I'm calling as part of a homicide investigation. So I'll ask again, who am I speaking to?"

"OLIVIA!?!" The voice held surprise, even shock.

Olivia started at the sudden change in demeanor of the woman on the other end of the phone, not at all understanding why the woman reacted to her name that way and answering cautiously, "Yes. Olivia Benson. Detective. NYPD. I'm with the Special Victims Unit, I need to ask you a few questions," Olivia paused to give the woman on the phone a chance to answer. When she didn't, Olivia continued, "Beginning, one more time, with your name."

Little did Olivia know, but on the woman on the other end of the phone was trying very hard to compose herself just as Olivia needed to do, earlier. Only a thousand times worse. For though Olivia didn't understand what was so familiar about the voice, didn't understand why her body was reacting to it, the woman on the other end of the phone, understood all too well. For though Olivia had no idea that the voice on the other end of the line was Alex Cabot, Alex Cabot now knew who the voice was on the other end of her line. And it was a voice she had longed to hear for well over a year.

But hearing it now, under these circumstances, was sweet torture. She knew she couldn't tell Olivia, knew she had to remain a secret. Fate had brought Olivia's voice to her phone, true, but fate had also dictated the terms.

When Alex still didn't answer after several seconds, Olivia, oblivious to the internal struggle being waged on the other end of the phone prompted, "Ma'am?"

It was Alex's turn to clear her throat, take a deep breath and try to get her pounding heart under control, "I'm sorry," she hoped she sounded smooth, hopped the purr and sex was back in her voice, "I go by Xandra," Alex was gaining confidence little by little. Fate may have set the boundaries but the at least Alex could have as much fun within those as possible, "Mistress Xandra if you're in to that sort of thing, sugar." Alex almost gasped at herself. Confidence or no, she couldn't believe she had just said that to Olivia, even if Olivia didn't know it was her doing the questioning.

And Olivia almost gasped, too. Her body still reacting, rather strongly, to this voice, her mind trying to figure out where she might have heard it before, trying to place the slight twang in it. Was that southern? Texan? She cleared her throat again and refocused, "Detective," Olivia corrected Xandra's last choice of nickname for her, then continued, "Do you have a last name Xandra?"

"I sure do, *Detective* Sugar," Alex played along, teasingly using Olivia's title as well as the nickname, not quite believing she was doing so. But, on the other hand, she'd waited years for this. She'd waited forever to be able to talk to Olivia like this: in a carefree and certainly less than professional way.

Olivia's jaw tightened momentarily and she shifted slightly in her desk chair. She gave up on trying to get Xandra to address her correctly and just pressed on, "And what might your last name be?"

"Why don't you tell me what you need instead, Detective Sugar," Alex paused just minutely for effect, "And by that I mean tell me what you need for your investigation," Alex paused just that split second again and her voice dropped just a little irresistibly lower, "Or you can forget your investigation and tell me what *you* need."

Olivia almost groaned. What was happening to her? She REALLY couldn't figure out the reactions of her body, but they were undeniable. There was just something so familiar about this voice. About the diction. But that accent...that wasn't familiar at all. And the purr, that wasn't familiar, either. But, god it was hot. Olivia shook her head, trying to clear it before it got away from her. Once again she refocused, "We have a victim that called you several nights in the week leading up to his death. I was hoping you'd be able to provide some information about him."

"Are you always so business-like, Detective Sugar?" Alex asked.

"Benson. Detective Benson," Olivia tried to emphasize, hoping the formality of the name would let her concentrate better, "And yes, I am."

"And do you always work such late hours, *Sugar*?" Alex also emphasized, making it clear that the detective was going to lose that little battle.

Olivia wasn't sure why she was allowing herself to be engaged in this conversation rather than just get on with business but she was. "I wouldn't have to work such late hours if you would answer your phone during the day," she bantered back.

Alex smiled slightly into the phone, delighted Olivia was at least talking, "Point taken." She then grew a little serious saying quietly, more knowingly than Olivia could possibly realize, "But I bet you always work late, don't you? Even when you're not calling people like me."

Olivia as quiet for just a moment, the tenderness, the understanding in the voice was palpable and it made her heart ache just a bit, "I'm not doing anything more than any other cop would," she answered just as quietly as Alex had asked.

"I doubt that very much," Alex whispered this time, then realized she was getting way too close to losing her accent. And her cover. But she couldn't stop the next question from coming out of her mouth. She feared the answer but, again, these are things she'd wanted to be able to say to and ask of Olivia forever, "All those late nights. It must be hard on your...boyfriend? ... or girlfriend?"

Olivia frowned, her detective instincts making her feel like 'Xandra' was fishing for information but couldn't figure out why she might be. And like before couldn't figure out what compelled her to answer but wanting to answer all the same, "I don't have a..." Olivia tried to decide just how much to give away. And she surprised herself when she concluded, "...a girlfriend."

Alex's breath caught just slightly, "I'm sure I can't imagine why." Alex swallowed hard, struggling to put the twang and confidence and tease back in her voice, and at least partially succeeding, "Because if you look even a tenth as sexy as your voice sounds, you must have women throwing themselves at you." Alex was once again surprised at her own forwardness, but there it was. And it was the truth.

Olivia, on her end of the phone, blushed fiercely even though no one else had heard the comment and no one was there to see it, and her body continued to react to the voice on the phone. And it would be another year before she would know why she continued this conversation and continued it so honestly rather than getting back on track, but continue it she did, "Yeah, well. I lost someone. Someone close to me," Olivia said quietly, sincerely.

Alex's breath caught again, and she was only barely able to choke out, "What was her name?" It was dangerous to ask, for if Alex heard Olivia's voice saying her name, she was sure she'd lose it. She was sure she wouldn't be able to keep from confessing her true identity.

And for that reason Alex held her breath as there was silence on the line, Olivia lost in thought, thinking of all the times she didn't tell Alex just how much she meant to her, how close she was to her, and more importantly, just how close she *wanted* to be to her. Olivia finally shook her head and answered, "It doesn't matter."

Alex let out her breath in relief and disappointment. "Obviously it does," she finally quietly and tenderly responded.

Olivia was silent again. For she was on the verge of losing it herself. She had no idea what made her confess as much as she already had to this voice on the phone. She had no idea why her mind and body were responding to it as they seemed to be responding to it. She needed to get this under control and she needed to get it under control now. She cleared her voice one more time. "Our victim. His name is Donald Frasier. Does that name ring a bell?"

Alex inhaled, recognizing this closing off and closing down of the detective all too well. How many times she felt she'd gotten that close to her before only to see her back away. God how she wanted to change all that this time. To make this time not like all the other times. But once again, fate drew a line.

"Donald Frasier," Alex responded, as if thinking about that name, but really buying herself time to compose herself, "I'm sorry, that doesn't sound at all familiar. But, as you might imagine, Detective Sugar," Alex was able to get just a bit of the tease and confidence back in her voice, using the new nickname she'd given Olivia to help her do so, "The people that call me sometimes don't use their actual names."

"I suppose you're right, *Xandra*," Olivia responded, her emphasis indicating she believed the same could be said about the name Alex was using. Oh that only Olivia knew just how close that name was to the truth. "Well," Olivia continued, If for some reason you do recall the name, please be sure to give us a call."

"Of course," Alex answered, unable to keep the sadness from her voice, knowing the conversation was coming to an end.

Olivia also felt strangely sad and unwilling to quite end the call and was silent for some seconds before finally, reluctantly saying, "Well, thank you for your time." She was just about to hang up when she heard that voice again.

"Olivia!" Alex recognized her error and tried to correct it even a little, "Detective Olivia. I'm sorry..." Alex paused, at a loss for how to continue this statement now that she'd started it. For there was so much that she was sorry for. So much. Lost time. Lost opportunities. This one included. But she settled for, "I'm sorry I couldn't... be more help."

Olivia paused, on some unconscious level, feeling and understanding not just what was being said but who was saying it. "It's okay," she answered sincerely.

She was just about to hang up again when Xandra's voice halted her one more time, this time with less melancholy and that confident teasing once again, but still the sincerity, "Oh, and if you ever *need* anything else Detective Sugar, you be sure to give *me* a call."

Olivia couldn't help but laugh a little and blush a little again, "Right," was all she answered.

"I mean it. I miss you," Alex tripped over her mistake but quickly corrected herself, "I mean I'll miss that voice of yours if you don't call me back."

Olivia frowned again, realizing then that she, too, would miss that voice on the other end of the line, and once again confused and a little disconcerted by the realization. But she managed to not say "Me, too" out loud and, instead, answered as before, "Right." She paused, and then, "Good night, Xandra."

She finally was able to hang up the phone without being interrupted, and not hearing Alex say after the line was disconnected, no accent, do disguise in her voice, crisp, clear, and perhaps recognizable if the detective had been able to hear it, "Good night, Olivia."

* * * * * * * * *


End file.
